the new term for farting is butt boxing.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
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