What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
