I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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