And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
