I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
