I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
