I'd wear matching sweaters with you
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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