Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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