Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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