Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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