I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize