who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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