He had one of those small greek statue penises
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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