I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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