I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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