Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
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