my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
