how can u be prego again
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
