Is it normal to miss your booty call?
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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