How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Do vagina's smell?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
