there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
The Olympian is in my bed
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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