I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
We smell like vodka and hangover
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