R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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