I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
