did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Found the puke drawer
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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