Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize