"it" just moved
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Randomize
