I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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