i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
It's blow job season.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
