Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
