I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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