He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
