I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
