I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
