I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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