When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
