Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
