and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
