I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
