Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
