i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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