I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
