We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Randomize
