You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
