You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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