Your tits are I can't wait for
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
