I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
