He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize