I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
