Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Fuck now we have to have sex
In a bet, need to win
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
