I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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