Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
