HIV tests are more positive than that guy
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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