So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Is Oprah even human
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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