Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Your penis caused this!
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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