It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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