the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
