Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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