wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize