you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
