let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize