I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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