I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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