my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize