This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
